There are many moments early in life that we anticipate something for the first time. As grown-ups I believe we have fewer of these moments. Yes, we have marriage, babies, first careers. However, we have few first time moments of putting ourselves out there. I love stepping outside my comfort zone. That's why I took on this challenge. Just to see if I could. Thankfully after rehearsal dinner I felt less naked in a crowed room. I learned that I felt much more comfortable with a microphone. All those years of Karaoke perhaps.
My wonderful "Officiant's Guide" recommended I show up early. This was to put the bride and day-of coordinator at ease and to learn of any last minute changes. I have to say there were few to no hiccups from what I could see. We had everyone present and accounted for. Stefanie, the day-of coordinator was hard at work. Bridesmaids were fawning over the bride and helping her dress. Family members were well fed and anxiously decorating the rec hall. The DJ was going over sound checks and music playlist. Kids ran around playing. The day was starting as expected:with hard work and anticipation. We often think of love as the Hallmark card with roses and hearts but this...this support of family and friends, this is where it all starts. This is how it happens. This is love at work and Jennifer and Courtney were the center. It doesn't just take a village to raise children. When these children grow up it takes a village to marry them off. And that is exactly what we did. No contribution was too small or unappreciated. Good thing I'm writing this because from a bride's point of view the day was probably just chaos and stress. I felt somewhat in the way. There wasn't really anything for me to do. I had one job and it was quickly approaching.
After about half the guest arrived I made my way to front to join the Groom and Groomsmen. I couldn't be happier with those 4. Such funny and entertaining guys. I look at Courtney and I say, "Well, the normal thing to say is that she looks beautiful but just so you know, she looks HOT. Congratulations!" He seemed pleased and calm. I centered myself at the microphone. Behind me, large paper flowers carefully draped the fireplace. Bridesmaids shuffled down the center of dinner tables. Jennifer's sister Michelle, who was very pregnant at the time, was one of the bridesmaids. Following was Jennifer's daughter, Charlotte. She was in a rainbow of colors and sprinkling the floor with confetti candies that she pulled out of a brown top hat. When she reached me she handed me the hat and with nod I placed it on my head just has I had practiced the day before. I took a deep breath to relax me and prepare me to speak the first words that would set the tone for the entire ceremony. I hear my cue. In that sobering moment I said it, "Please rise for the bride." I opened the notebook I had made for Jennifer and Courtney containing the ceremony and Jen's vows. I began analyzing the sound of my voice, trying to decide if I liked it. I did, so I began to smile a pleasantly and calm as my guide had suggested. Jen's father handed her off to Courtney. They approached me and I spoke again. "Please be seated".
I read through the ceremony. I welcomed the guest. Thanked friends and family. I spoke about marriage and love, and hand holding :). They shared their vows and and accepted each other's hearts with those two small words, "I do.". I made some closing statements and went for the big finale."You may now kiss the bride." I ended on the ever so popular, "I now pronounce you husband and wife.". Taking in the moment they faced their loved ones. The music cued and everyone made their way back down the isle following the bride and groom. I took a few deep breaths. I made my way to the back of the room and handed off my mic to the DJ who needed it to make an announcement. Just like that I was done. My inner goddess/ego dropped the mic in that 8-mile sort of way. Like, boo-ya! I did it and I didn't choke. Eat that speech class from 8 yrs ago. I was an officiant "virgin" no more.
The rest of the evening was easy. I just had to be a guest. I got the occasional, "You did a nice job" and "Do you do themed weddings?" And when I looked at the bride and groom I thought to myself, "I did that", "I joined them in love". I felt a since of pride and importance. I feel connected to them.
Would I do it again?? Gladly! I said it before and I will say it again. I am honored that I was asked to do this. I am grateful for the experience and being part of their special day. It was a good kind of stress.To get this perspective was a rare opportunity. I've been the bride. I've helped catered. I've been a guest. But I have never been the officiant. Since, I've been asked to renew vows for a co-worker. I hope to do it again and get more experience. When I do, I will blog about it as well.
My final thoughts: You can do it! If you get asked to do this for someone. DO IT! Find the right organization to ordain you which would be one that believes in the same thing you do. Read "The Officiant's Guide" by Lisa Francesa and you will do fine!
And to Jennifer and Courtney, thank you again. I wish you both the best. I continue to offer my support. I love you! To the bride and groom!
Thank you for reading.
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