"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest of men"

If you are just catching up to me. I am blogging about my experience of being asked to officiate my friends wedding. I said, "I do", I got ordained, and now I had to sweat out a wedding ceremony. I also want to add to my last post about getting ordained. You can also get "Deputized" for the day. Just that one day to perform a legal ceremony. Under this circumstance you may not say anything religious in your ceremony. This is a good option for a one time gig. But if you think you might want to do it again then you should go ahead and get ordained in my opinion.

Have you ever written a wedding ceremony?? Sounds pretty easy right? We've seen it a hundred times in movies. Well, it's a little more than that.

The first thing you want to do is is research the internet, talk to someone who's done this before, or buy a book. I opted for a good ole book. I chose this one.

 

I loved this book. It was very easy to follow. It tells you all of your do's and don'ts, and gives you a basic outline. This would be my bible.

The second thing you need to do is interview your couple. Use this book or your resource to compile a list of questions. You would be surprised what you didn't know about writing a ceremony. There is a lot. Will it be traditional or modern? Will she have a veil? If she does, you have to write in where she will be removing it. If there is a train on the dress you have to allow time for the bridesmaids to fix it. Will you say, "Who gives this women?" Which is apparently an old tradition of trading property. Will there be any rituals, like lighting candles? Do you want to include family members? Does a friend want to read something? Where will you pause to allow the bride to compose herself when she is overwhelmed with emotions?  It goes on and on. You also have to coordinate with the music and the wedding planner/day coordinator. This book helped me head in the right direction. The net is packed full of advice on doing this. So I'm not going to rewrite it all here. This blog isn't a "how to". It's just a "how I feel about it" :)

At first I thought all I had to do was just copy and post another ceremony I would find online and then just insert their names. They do have vow and ceremony generators that do this for you by the way. So I read through very many ceremonies trying to familiarize myself with what goes down. I sat on this for a couple of months. Just thinking about it. Researching here and there. I met with Jen one last time. The first time I met with both the bride and groom. Then I read my book (which I should've read first) and realized I needed another meeting with my bride to be. We did this around the beginning of April 2015. I told her by the end of the month I would have her ceremony. I emailed it to her May 1st. In one 4 hour sitting I took my notes and the outline from this book, I closed my eyes and immersed myself into the big day. I put myself there and let me fingers start doing the work.

This is for my friend I told myself. I wanted her ceremony to be hers and everything she had asked for. It felt wrong to plagiarize another couples exact ceremony. They weren't Jack and Diane, or Ted and Sally, they were Courtney and Jennifer. She had told me the tone she wanted and the words she wanted. She wanted a traditional ceremony format, no "Fluff" so we called it, and words for a mature couple. I pictured it all; what she was wearing, the bridesmaids, the faces of the audience, and their location. I wrote their ceremony starting from the gentle hand of her father to the infamous words, "you may kiss the bride". When I got stumped on how to word something. I would pull out some examples from my resources. I had to have a little help. I'd never done this before. Now, I get to spend the next month and half using visualization. Because it ain't over till I breath life into this ceremony. I feel confident that because I am reciting my own work it will come naturally to me.

Jennifer and Courtney have a "Willy Wonka" theme for their wedding. I know what your thinking. And NO! There won't be lollipops and oompa loompas. Think more chocolate fountains, elegant purples and golds, and pure imagination. I even managed to wiggle a movie quote into the ceremony. I may even get to wear a vintage brown hat to add a little nonsense. Because "a little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."

I received this in the mail yesterday by the way.

 

 

Jennifer was happy with the ceremony I had written for her. We still have some time to revise it if we need to. The most important thing to remember according to my book is to be ready for the unexpected. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. We have a rehearsal dinner July 3rd. I plan to come back and blog about rehearsal dinner. When it's all over I will post the ceremony I wrote. I want it to be a surprise for guest for now.

Thank you for reading!

Mandy